Tales of the Past & Reminders for the Future

Ever since my memory can remember I have had a fond adoration for special celebrations, in particular birthdays. No matter how near or dear to my heart I find joy in celebrating the symbolism of life and getting excited about sharing the joy with quality people. To me birthdays are a special time to reflect and allow for the heart and mind to wander, to wish and dream as big as your heart allows. It’s around this time of year that my heart instantly becomes reminiscent and I can’t stop myself from feeling a mixed bag of emotions - and I don’t want to. I embrace it, like a yearly ritual to captivate all that I have felt, expressed, learnt and become in the past year before moving on to a new chapter, however this year feels different as I sit down and prepare to say goodbye to my teenage years.

These years brought me an abundance of wisdom and teachings in all shapes and sizes, to merely shape me into the young lady I am today. You weren’t perfect and then again I never expected you to be, but in the purest way possible you were beautiful and messy all at the same time. You made me cry, you made me question life, you allowed me to dream bigger than my eyes could see, you made me laugh, you gave me people who I never thought would exist and people who I never thought would leave and I am thankful for both.

To be completely honest with you, I wasn’t always who I know myself to be today. I didn’t always have the strongest belief in myself or my potential. Picture this: a meep, very shy but friendly young girl who constantly heard that she was no good and was scared of raising her voice. She felt powerless and distant from her true authentic self. Authenticity; what a big word for a small girl, with dreams that are far more desirable than she’ll ever imagine. When I was just entering my teen years, my state of mind was drafted with minimal thoughts and those that did make an appearance were negative and fearful. Eckhart Tolle famously says “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness” and I can clearly understand every word of that because of these moments that you are about read.

Dear thirteen-year-old me,

I can see your hurting. I know you are hurt

You feel invisible, and diminished

It won’t take long before you

Find your place in life so please

Darling girl, hold on tight

I am here with you every step of the way

And I want you to know that you are not

Alone.

Dear fourteen-year old me,

The same cycle is repeating itself

And I am afraid to tell you that it will

Continue to do so for a few more years

But within that time you will find your voice

It may not seem like it now

Rest assured I know that you’re aching to

Speak up and your moment is coming

Dear fifteen-year old me,

You are slowly but surely

Finding your voice, you found the

Courage to move schools- however

Soon enough you will realize that you

Can’t run away from your problems

Life will only give you what you need

So be bold, stand tall because I know you

Are going to rise about it all

Dear sixteen-year old me,

Your definition of friendships has

Been questioned and deteriorated

For what seems like a decade

Please believe me when I say that

You don’t need a lot of people to be your friend

You only need those who you can count on,

Even if it’s only on one hand

Quality friendships are the key to a successful life

There are plenty of those coming your way very soon

Dear seventeen-year old me,

You have finally graduated, completed your high school studies

All whilst recovering from an injury that lasted three years

Your mental and physical strength is beyond me and I am proud of you.

Life is just getting started and you will soon figure out that there is more

To life than the friends, grades and popularity you witness in high school

Dear eighteen-year old me,

Gosh are you amazing!

I will continue to remind you of that until

You believe me - you will soon learn to

Believe in your capabilities that your heart and mind

Provide for yourself and others. A powerful source of love

You will experience love, rejection, your first kiss, true determination,

Academic success and new beginnings whilst starting a new journey

You will proudly make it through each experience, some may hurt and

Others will make you gleam, but all will make you stronger

Your heart will mend again and slowly, but surely you will start to find yourself.

Dear nineteen-year old me,

You figured out your place in life

You found your voice

You realized that your own solitude is more important

Than the company of those who do not hold value to you

You realized that your self-love and worth is not measured

By opinions of others, more so by the opinion of your mind

There will be doubts and stumbles along the way

I know you will rise and own your power, your truth

With significance and unconditional love

You will meet people who support you

You will meet people who will love you

You will meet people who guide you

You will meet people who drive you to

Be the best version of you there is

It isn’t always easy - some may

Question who you are

Your job is to stay true to you

Without explaining yourself to others

Let your actions do the talking and continue to shine brightly

Sunflower.

Dear twenty-year old me,

We are yet to meet in the not too distant future

And I love you already. I feel riddled with excitement and

Butterflies, comparable to the first time you meet the man of your

Dreams. I do not know what you will teach me, who you will bring me

What I do know for sure, is that you will be beautiful, you will be light,

You will be wonder, you will shine brightly on my insecurities, flaws, pride,

Success and show me the wonders of the universe. You will continue to help

Me grow and for that I say thank you deeply and authentically

My 20th year around the sun and I am already so grateful to you.

I am grateful to each and every moment that I have reflected on, amongst these years are memories that have been stored deep into the cells of my membrane to guide me when I feel stuck, moments that have helped to remind me of my worth and moments that have pushed me to become better. To become a leader, a light worker, a lover of life and wanderlust. I am who I am today because of these moments. Thank you for lifting my spirit and unraveling the greatest source of magic possible.

Before rolling into a new year I wish to remind you of a few truths so that you can move forward with confidence knowing that you are the creator of your world.

1. Never forget to make time for yourself - plan it and put yourself first

2. You are not selfish for wanting to say no

3. It’s important to give yourself alone time and enjoy solitude

4. Always stay true to yourself no matter what the latest trend is

5. Social media is not your best friend. Use it wisely and sparingly

6. Cherish and value the time you have with your family and loved ones

7. Always remember that time is of the essence and can heal a broken heart

8. Enjoy life to the fullest. There is always an adventure and story waiting to be told

9. Prioritise your health; mental, physical and emotional health.

10. Take care of your wellbeing and only choose what feels good for you

11. Love yourself. Love your body, your mind. The whole package is beautiful

12. Don’t let societies definition of beauty or success tailgate you. Stay on your path

13. Let go of your fearful relationship with money. Budgets are your best friend

14. Make physical and emotional room in your heart for quality, empowering people

15. You will find your person one day. Let the world see your heart

16. Love starts with you. Turn towards your passions, goals and solitude moments to find joy

17. Inspiration can happen at the unexpected of times, always be prepared

18. Unexpected moments are potentially the best and most remembered

19. Never let go of the inner kid in you - it’s never inappropriate to watch Disney and be a bit playful

20. Embrace all that you are and remember your thoughts create your world. Make them magical and beautiful

So here we are, we have uncovered life’s truths. There are stories to be told, words that have been unspoken or felt, bonds that will change your world and memories yet to be made. Until then, live each day with love and watch your world unfold before your very eyes. I’ll meet you on the other side and remember if you ever feel lost beneath the sheets, take my hand and I’ll guide you because you’re never alone.

Unconditional love always,

E x

P.s I am admirably proud of you.