This Is Me Moving On

My teary eyes & broken heart

made it hard to see that you weren't meant for me.

You pulled the rug up from under me.

You said goodbye, whilst my heart was still hanging on

In shattered pieces as I questioned to myself "Did you even try?"

So I wiped my eyes and my path ahead filled up with light.

Some days still felt overcast, but I never gave up hope and I see now why you had to let go.

It wasn't your fault, you just weren't ready for the type of love I had to give out.

I hope one day you are and you meet someone who makes you feel loved again because love is the most extraordinary feeling your heart can feel.

I thank you for the love you gave and allowed me to feel. In many ways we were lucky together, because we found ourselves warped up in each others worlds for a significant amount of time and we made each other feel something real, hopeful & unexpected. But now it is time to let go and say goodbye so I can prepare my heart for a fresh hello. No matter where I go or how far we part, there will always be a sticky residue that formed from your presence in my heart. I'd be lying if I said there weren't days & nights where I wanted you show up at my place or message my phone to say "hello, I miss you..I'm sorry" , but time has gifted me with the clarity and closure I need to heal and move forward again.

I may have been broken-hearted, but I am not broken and what I found when you chose to walk away was myself. I found what was lost beneath our time together; hidden under the sheets of mystery, excitement and lust. I kept my head held high and moved forward with grace and strength. I tried to remember life before you, but it felt inevitable so I started from what I knew. I leaned into the pain, leaned into my friends and as time passed I grew more love for myself again.

This is me moving on and knowing that you are becoming a faded and distant memory, but one I will never forget or regret. This is me moving on, accepting that our time together has stopped. It was short lived, yet explosive like star dust. This is me finally seeing my true worth and value. This is me finding validation, friendship & light in myself first. This is me understanding that one day when someone says your name, my heart will beat for you and that's okay. This is me loving all of you and all of us, but knowing that we are two puzzle pieces that don't fit anymore. This is me accepting that you aren't my future, but loving the idea and mystery of who will be. This is me opening up my heart again and believing in love.

This is me choosing myself.

This is me allowing my soul to dream again. This is me finding the beauty in endings and knowing that at the end of a day the sun sets and we will be okay. This is me finding hope and letting it shine through my beating vessel. This is me saying I love you; I did, I have and always will. This is me moving on and saying thank you. Thank you for letting our hearts beat and align as one even for a moment in time. This is me appreciating how amazing love truly is and I'm grateful that my definition of love has now become stronger.

This is me moving on; stronger, lighter and happier.

Unconditional love always,

E x