Reflecting on the year that’s been; 365 more adventures to look forward to

There’s something so beautiful about a blank page that ignites a spark in my soul; it’s so mesmerising and inspiring. Unwritten potential or a new story yet to be told and now here I am again 365 days later fulfilling the same task as I did last year, except this year I’m reflecting on a new story filled with new memories, lessons and stories that will be told in many years to come as I look back and reflect on what came to be for two-thousand and eighteen. This was the year that I grew to become someone, my strength and courage increased and was tested, but I never let anything break me. Instead I insisted on making up for lost time and finding my happiness, my authenticity and my spirit. I walked in to this year with new hopes, dreams, goals and promises. One thing for sure was that I had a new year packed to the brim of possibilities, opportunities and adrenalin packed moments.

In 2018, I learnt the importance of rest and self-care again, my ego struggled to accept the idea that this was possible and needed to keep pushing on until I burnt out. I cried and let everything go when I felt the most tired, but still I woke up every morning feeling proud because I never gave up. Through this I learnt that putting myself first became a stubborn war that my soul battled me on, yet I refused to feel defeated. I loved living life to the fullest, but sometimes that became too much and I couldn’t hold out for much longer. I needed to rest, to breathe and to see things from a new perspective - and so I started prioritising my mindfulness me days, I started re-thinking of new ways I could practice self-love every day for it is the smallest actions and intentions that make up the biggest outcome. I’m not perfect. I’m still learning, but the one thing I promise to do is to keep learning, growing and fulfilling what my soul’s purpose is. It was revealed to me that there is strength in slow moments of rest and I intend to make this an essential part of my self-care.

There were many days this year where I felt energised, excited and care-free. There were also days where I felt drained, depleted and anxious to my core, but I also learnt to be real with myself. I learnt to own my magic and in the process own when things aren’t okay because the only way out of something is through it. We must grow through what we experience and feel so that the light and magic can shine.

I learnt way more about myself this year than I intended to and saw the beauty of the Universe in its awe-inspiring nature. The hope it provided me was unimaginable, the people it led me to and the experiences I felt with every inch of my body allowed me to grow and connect to my higher self. I learnt that even when you are judged, questioned or misunderstood that there is never a better time to let the world see who you really are. Never let anybody define who you are, YOU are the only person that holds such great power. It is your responsibility to show the world what you are capable of, how beautiful, magical and wonderful you truly are and I am so proud that this year your gorgeous eyes finally opened and realized that. You finally saw more of your potential; the light worker and sunflower that is inside you is blossoming. I learnt that not everybody you meet will understand your purpose or want to - and that is totally okay because they aren’t living in your journey. Do not let these people affect you, send them love always. It only shows more of the great human that you are. I learnt that ‘nice’ isn’t a dirty word no matter how society looks - in fact it makes me stand out and I appreciate my kind heart more and more every day. The only difference between then and now is that now I have also learnt how to stand up for myself. I found my voice and learnt to say ‘NO’ a lot more; which also isn’t a dirty word and is indeed necessary to vocalize. Let people hear you loud and clearly, let it be known that your voice matters and you will roar in times of empowerment, and liberation.

I met so many amazing people this year, people that shaped my future, people that have carved a special place in my heart, people I will grow with and people I have grown from. I was able to share so many special memories with some of these individuals, as we shared smiles, laughter, tears, anxiety and pride. I achieved my biggest milestone to date. 2018 was the year I completed my first Bachelor’s degree at the young age of twenty. It is no wonder I felt tired for a good portion of the year, but nevertheless I am ridiculously proud that I was able to work so tirelessly for something that meant the world to me and to have it pay off in the end. I was yet to feel so emotional during a performance, until my very last. This occurred on two occasions; once at the Nationals cheer competition, and the other at my end of year university performance knowing wholeheartedly that I danced the best I could, and that I had been fighting a hard battle physically and mentally since starting my degree and I finally did it! I showed myself and others surrounding that I do have the potential to strive as far I wish to, the only person that was holding me back was myself. I will forever hold that memory close to my heart and I cannot wait to re-live that as I graduate in June of 2019.

I grew artistically as well as mentally this year, because I allowed myself to step out of my comfort zone. I found new ways of moving, and created beautiful pieces for my soul to witness. There were still times when I couldn’t help but compare myself to others around me, but at the end of the day I acknowledged my own uniqueness by expressing myself the way I know best. Dance felt like the most powerful form of self-love for me on the days that were the toughest and I couldn’t be more thankful. I am thankful to all my mentors, teachers and those who came before me as they have also impacted the way I think, move and create, especially throughout one of the biggest years for me academically. These struggles became a true testament for my determined nature and one that I conquered bravely. I continued to create more self-love through courage and kindness when it came to my body image. Once again I had my bad days, but I am so happy to say that I felt more good days than bad. I felt inspired to shine a new light on my insecurities, instead of letting them upset me. I became vulnerable, raw and real. I turned inwards to transform my thinking and then turned to others for inspiration. It was a beautiful occurrence that I wish to see more of in the new year’s coming. We all have the power to help change someone’s live; first start with your own.

2018 you were a year full of transformation, blessings, euphoria, unforgettable moments, accomplishments, heartache, anxiety, struggle, growth, knowledge and self-love. In 2018, I fell in love with the beauty of life, with human beings and with myself. I became receptive and open to love. I created new boundaries for myself. I stood up for myself. I watched people walk in and out. I grew. I became who I was meant to and now I am ready to become even more.

In this next year, I want you to find beauty in simplicity, to fall in love with people of all kinds and of course to continue falling in love with yourself. I want you to achieve the art of putting yourself first and staying authentic, to go on more adventures than you’ve even been on and to create your magic. Let’s make 2019 awesome. Grow your blog, write that e-book, inspire someone’s heart and soul simply by being you. Watch multiple sunsets and sunrises. Run along the beach. Listen to music; old and new. Dance till your heart is content. Try different foods. Go visit new parts of the world. Expand your knowledge and food for thought. Invest in yourself and create more space so you can rest, breathe and have more opportunities for solitude.

They say that you can do a lot in 365 days so let’s not waste a moment doing anything less than loving the life we choose to live. 2019, I look forward to the many adventures we will go on together. 2018, I bid you farewell and sincerely thank you. I am grateful that I got to know you and will forever remember you kindly.

Unconditional love always,

E x